Seat C45 on the 7:10 to London

This time in my life extremely odd. I feel so torn. I love every aspect of my life pretty much but the problem is, it all can’t exist within a 5 mile radius of each other. My London life, my love life, my family’s lives, my friend’s lives. This bloody sucks. It would be quiet wonderful if I had the money to be able to pop around on trains, and not have to work on top my course, to see the poeple who mean the most to me.

My grandma is ill again. I can’t hold the hands I want to because I don’t have the money or the time. All because I’m trying to build my life whilst surviving and hopefully thriving all at once.

Sometime the world can be a real bitch.

But I am currently on a train to London the sun is rising and it is beautiful. Yesterday I lolloped around in the snow with my mum and dad, cuddled my cats by the fire and played games with my cousins. Wow – the sun has really come out now. And this, this is my point exactly, the world is beautiful, the fact I have life is beautiful. The way my chest expands, rise and falls and my brothers and mother’s both do the same.

So am I being selfish for wanting more? Or am I just blaming the world when I should just work harder to get where I want to be?

Who knows!?! These are very big questions for 8AM and a human that woke up at 6AM for the first time since Christmas.

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